


Failure

by Fanofeverything101



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Proctective Brothers, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24274996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanofeverything101/pseuds/Fanofeverything101
Summary: Times when Alec and/or Jace feel as though they have failed the other. Ch. 1 post 2x20, ch. 2 post 3x08, ch. 3 post 3x10. *Rated T to be safe and for suicide thoughts in chapter 3*
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So these are three one-shots of times in the show when Alec or Jace feel like they failed the other. This chapter does have a slight tie to The Lost Angel, but it’s not necessary to read that story before this one. Hope you guys like it!

Alec tossed and turned in his bed. It was almost three in the morning, but he had yet to get more than half an hour of sleep, and he was exhausted. Sleep had been extremely hard to come by for the last two weeks.

After Valentine’s death and the revelation that Consul Malachi had actually sided with Valentine and tried to kill both Jace and Clary, the Clave was busy now dealing with again, a possible Downworld uprising, and trying to elect a new Consul to lead the Clave, not mention, tracking down the demons who were freed before Magnus closed the portal. Everyone was working hard, and was exhausted, but still, sleep eluded the Shadowhunter.

Every time Alec closed his eyes, images, memories of him and Jace flashed across his eyelids. Even though it had been two weeks since he thought Jace had ‘died’, he could still feel the burning pain that he felt as his Parabatai rune faded and disappeared as though it happened only moments ago.

The pain had been so great that he could barely breathe, and when it faded and Alec realized that his rune was gone, and he could no longer feel Jace, it was like he had been sucker punched right in his gut. If anything, the pain was worse even though he was no longer screaming. He immediately turned to Magnus and begged him to draw a portal to Lake Lyn so he could find out what happened, so he could bring his brother’s body back home. Magnus didn’t hesitate.

Once they got to Idris, Alec, Izzy and Magnus started making their way to the lake, coming across the bodies of Malachi and other Shadowhunters lying in the woods. Alec barely acknowledged them, and pressed onward towards the lake, all of his focus was on finding his brother.

He was beyond relived and confused when he found Jace, alive, along with Clary while Valentine was actually dead. Jace still hadn’t explained what all happened, not that Alec really had a chance to confront him on it. They all had been so busy with the fallout of The Circle’s attack and everything, they barely had time talk, much less about anything important.

Knowing he wasn’t going to get any sleep, Alec got up and headed to the training room. With everything going on, he needed to be prepared, needed to be stronger. As he arrived to the room, he saw it was not empty. Jace had beaten him there and looked like he had been there for a while already. He was covered in sweat and there were dark circles under his eyes.

“Need a partner?” Alec wondered, letting Jace know that was no longer alone. Jace snapped his head to look at him so fast that Alec thought he might get whiplash.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Jace replied, picking up another sword and handed it to the older Shadowhunter, before they both got into a fighting position.

They trained for about an hour before Alec suggested a break. Though Jace had beaten him almost every time, like he usually did, he could tell that the blonde was exhausted. Luckily, Jace didn’t protest, in fact, he looked relived and sat down with his back against the wall. Alec dropped his sword and sat down beside his Parabatai.

“So, how are you doing?” Alec asked. The blonde kept his gaze to the floor and shrugged.

“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” Jace responded, turning to give the black haired Shadowhunter a reassuring smile. Alec didn’t look reassured at all though.

“Let’s see, your fake father died and something else happened that you still haven’t told me about.” Alec told him. Jace turned his head to look back at the floor.

“What happened anyways?” Alec finally asked.

“I don’t know. One minute, Clary and I were arriving at the lake, then Valentine appeared out of nowhere. I felt a stabbing pain in my chest and passed out. I woke up, Clary was leaning over me and Valentine was dead.” Alec knew he was lying, but he couldn’t figure out why. Whatever the reason was though, Alec knew it was his fault.

“I’m sorry.” The apology escaped his mouth before he could stop it. That got Jace to look back at him again.

“For what?” Jace asked, not sure why Alec was apologizing to him. Alec looked stunned.

“For being such a failure as your Parabatai.” Alec replied. Jace however, still did not understand what the older Shadowhunter was saying.

“You haven’t been a failure at all Alec. What on earth put that idea in your head?” Jace demanded. Alec finally turned to meet his brother’s gaze, a look of shame covering his face.

“I let Valentine take you months ago, I didn’t stop Aldertree from arresting you, I didn’t even go visit you when you were in the City of Bones, I let that group of vampires attack and kidnap you, I let Sebastian hurt you. And I don’t know what happened at Lake Lyn, but I know you were lying, and that it was bad. But whatever it was, I didn’t protect you from that either.” Alec listed off, feeling worse and worse as he realized just how much he had failed the younger Shadowhunter.

It took a minute for Alec’s explanation to sink in, and when it did, Jace felt terrible. He hadn’t really thought of how much all of this had been affecting Alec. He knew that his brother was extremely protective of him, he was too, but he had no idea he been feeling like everything that happened was his fault. Jace had never even once blamed Alec, and tried to make sure his brother knew it, but that didn’t mean he didn’t blame himself.

“Alec, none of that was your fault. Everything that happened to me, had nothing to do with you. I know that if you could’ve, you would’ve stopped me from all of that, but there wasn’t anything you could’ve done. Valentine would’ve killed you all if you tried to stop him from taking me, Aldertree probably would’ve arrested you too if you tried to stop him, and you were still weak from that tracking thing you tried to do. You almost died. As to the vampires, you got knocked out. Again, nothing you could’ve done. With Sebastian, you were busy being attacked by the Forsaken. And with what happened in Idris, you weren’t there because you were too busy with the demons and closing the portal. With not visiting me in the City of Bones, you guys were attacked by a demon, and honestly, I’m glad you weren’t there. I didn’t want anyone to see me there. I don’t blame you for anything because none of this was your fault.” Jace tried to reason with his brother, but Alec shook his head.

“I should’ve done better, should’ve tried harder.” Alec muttered quietly, looking down at the floor. Jace wrapped his arm around Alec’s shoulder.

“Remember when after I activated the Soul Sword, and after I told Clary that we weren’t related? Before we tried to summon that demon who ended up switching Valentine’s and Magnus’s bodies?” Jace wondered.

Alec nodded, still keeping his head lowered. He remembered coming up to the roof to get Jace, only to find him crying. The last time he saw Jace cry was when he thought he was dead, right before Aldertree arrested him. It was then he knew that Jace was finally starting to bend under all the weight he was carrying and he went over hugged him as tight as he could, wishing with everything he had that he could take that weight away.

“That night, you came into my room and told me that it wasn’t my fault, that I had no way of knowing. You stayed with me all night trying to convince me that it wasn’t, and when that didn’t work, you kept at it for the next week until I told you that I knew you were right. And if I have to do all that to get through to you, and more, then so be it. Because none of it was your fault Alec. If I’m not at fault for those Downworlders dying, then you aren’t responsible for anything that happened to me.” Jace stated with such a certainty that Alec almost believed him and Alec nodded. After another moment, Alec turned to look at Jace.

“What happened at the lake? I know you were lying, I know you know. Why won’t you tell me?” Alec questioned yet again. Jace sighed and looked away. He knew that Alec was still blaming himself, and would for a while, but if he knew what actually happened, he would blame himself even more and couldn’t put his Parabatai through that. He had put Alec through enough already.

“What happened at the lake was bad, I’m not denying it, but I’m okay. So, let’s just forget about it.” Jace said. He made a move to stand up but Alec reached over and pulled Jace back down and stared at him hard.

“I felt you die Jace. It felt like I was dying alongside you and when the pain stopped, and I saw that our rune was gone, it was like I couldn’t breathe. I can’t go through that again Jace, I can’t lose you.” Jace felt heart weigh even more heavily in his chest, and the guilt he felt for putting his brother through all of that got worse.

“You won’t. I’m not going anywhere. I know that I’ve had some pretty close calls, but I’m still here, you haven’t lost me. I’m so sorry that I put you through that.” Jace apologized.

“Well, whatever did happen in Idris, I doubt it was your fault.” Alec replied.

“But somehow it’s yours?” Jace remarked. Alec didn’t have answer for that.

“How about this, I’ll stop blaming myself if you stop blaming yourself?” Jace suggested.

“I don’t think it’s that easy or simple Jace.” Alec pointed out. Jace nodded, agreeing with his Parabatai.

“It’s not, but we can try.” Alec nodded, and wrapped his arms around Jace, pulling him close. Jace quickly returned the hug.

“Oh by the way, you’re benched from missions for the next few weeks.” Alec told him, then quickly let go and stood up to leave the room.

“Wait what? Why?” Jace immediately questioned as he stood up and followed the older Shadowhunter.

“‘Why?’ Jace you’re a danger magnet. You need a break from all these ‘close calls’ and so do I.” Alec responded, trying to get away from his brother, knowing he wasn’t going to let it go.

“Come on, I’m the best fighter you got. You can’t bench me.” Jace protested quite loudly.

“I’m the head of the Insitute, so yes I can, and I did.” Alec said with a small smile. Though running an Institute was harder than he thought it would be, it did have some perks. Jace continued protesting as they made their way through the building, just like Alec knew he would but he didn’t care. He wasn’t going to fail his brother again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post 3x08

Alec stood alone on the balcony of Magnus’s apartment, staring at the city below. The sun had set long ago, the only light now coming for the city lights. It was like looking down at stars instead of looking up. At least, the Shadowhunter assumed so. He had lived in the city his entire life, and it was near impossible to see real stars there. He could only remember a few times being out of New York on a mission and seeing the real stars, but he preferred the city lights. It made him feel at home, though he didn’t any more because his brother was gone.

Once Alec and Izzy realized that Lilith had arrived and took Jace before they had fully woken up from being in Jace’s mind, they immediately tried to track him with Magnus’s help, but couldn’t. The warlock then told them that Lilith was most likely blocking the missing Shadowhunter from them. Izzy then headed straight to the Institute to see if there had been any reports of demon activity that might lead them to Jace. Alec though, went outside on the balcony to try and clear his head.

The more the dark haired shadowhunter thought about everything that had happened since Valentine’s death, the more he wanted to hit himself. It was so obvious that there was something worse going on with Jace than he had originally thought. It would’ve been even more obvious if he had been paying more attention, but between running the Institute and spending so much time with Magnus, he hadn’t been there to see the signs.

When he finally did, he tried to figure out what was going on with his brother. Finding out about Celine, Jace’s mother, having mental health issues and that it could have been passed down to him, Alec thought he had his answer. It was a terrifying one of course, after all, there wouldn’t be much he could do for his parabatai if that was what he was suffering from, and if it was, Jace stood to lose almost everything. He was at risk of being declared unfit for duty and be stripped of his runes. Jace was a fighter, has been ever since he was kid. Having that taken away from him would’ve broken him.

But realizing that he was actually being possessed and forced to attack and kill innocent mundanes, scared Alec even more than the possibility of his brother having mental health issues ever would. What made it worse, was that once he learned about Celine’s problems, he thought he had the answer, he stopped looking to see if there was something else going on. If he did, he might’ve seen what the real problem was. But he didn’t, and now Jace was gone.

Alec failed his parabatai again. The mental list he carried in his head was going longer, far longer than he would’ve liked. He didn’t stop Jace from leaving with Valentine, didn’t rescue him from the monster who raised him, didn’t save him from the city of bones, didn’t protect him from being killed by Valentine (though in his defense, he didn’t know about that), couldn’t kill Jace when he begged him to just hours earlier, and couldn’t keep him from being taken from Lilith. He couldn’t do anything, and Alec hated it.

“Alexander? Are you alright?” The dark-haired young man heard his boyfriend’s voice ask, also hearing the light footsteps of the warlock coming up behind him. Alec didn’t answer though, he didn’t need too. The answer was obvious, to both of them.

“Forget I asked that.” Magnus said once he realized what he had just asked, coming to stand right beside Alec.

“When I found him, in his mind, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so broken. Even when he came to live with us after watching his father die, he was still just as cocky and chill as he usually is.” Alec informed the warlock, the memories of what he had seen inside Jace’s mind still running through his head. Magnus didn’t say anything, knowing that Alec wasn’t done talking just yet. He did though, put his hand on the taller man’s shoulder.

“Lilith was forcing him to kill Clary over and over again.” The dark-haired, young man revealed, then looked over at Magnus and said, “I can’t imagine being forced to do the same thing to you. Even if it wasn’t real.”

“It was, just,” Alec paused when he heard himself choking a little over what his was about to say, turning around to face the city again before continuing, “He begged us to kill him. He begged us because he couldn’t do it himself. He said he had tried, many times, but couldn’t.”

Magnus again kept quiet, though this time, it was because he didn’t know what to say. The pain that Alec was feeling from seeing his brother brought down to such a low, pain-filled, level was obvious, and Magnus had no idea of how to make him feel better. Well, besides saving Jace, and even then, he knew Alec would still be upset because Jace would be upset with himself for what Lilith had made him do. Alec and Jace were connected in such a different and powerful way that Magnus couldn’t fully understand.

“I failed him Magnus. I couldn’t keep him safe from being possessed, couldn’t kill him when he begged me too, couldn’t stop Lilith from taking him.” Alec told him as a tear slipped from his eye and started running down his cheek. At the, Magnus tightened his hold on Alec’s shoulder to get the Shadowhunter to face him again, now feeling the need to intervene. 

“Alexander, none of this is your fault. Lilith is one of the most powerful demons out there. Even if you were aware of how Jace was vulnerable, the odds of you being able to stop it, the odds of all of us being able to protect him are pretty slim.” Magnus tried to get his boyfriend to believe.

“So I have no chance of saving him now?” Alec questioned, looking even more distraught to the notion that there was no way he could help his Parabatai.

“I’m saying, this is going to be a lot harder than any of us would’ve thought.” Magnus corrected him. Alec nodded, but turned his gaze down to stare at the floor instead of the warlock’s eyes.

“You haven’t failed him Alexander. No one can protect someone from everything forever. The only way you could fail Jace, is if you give up and stop trying. The minute you do that, then you will have failed.” Magnus told him. Alec nodded, agreeing with what the much older man was saying, but quickly found a problem.

“I don’t even know how to save him.” Alec replied with a slightly hopeless voice.

“Well, first, let’s find him and figure out what Lilith is trying to do. We’ll figure out the rest later.” Magnus said with a smile. He didn’t wait for a response before he headed back instead to get his books, knowing that Alec would be right behind.

“Don’t worry Jace. We’ll find you, and we’ll save you.” Alec whispered, putting his hand on his parabatai rune, hoping that maybe, somehow through their bond, Jace heard him. Then, he too headed inside to help Magnus find a way to save his missing brother.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post 3x10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING – This chapter does deal with some depression and suicidal thoughts! If anything like that is going to trigger anyone whatsoever, then please don’t read!

Jace sat alone in Alec’s bedroom, sitting in the chair by his Parabatai’s bed where Alec was laying fast asleep. Well, he wasn’t completely alone. Magnus was asleep in the chair on the other side of dark-haired Shadowhunter. But, since he was also sleeping, Jace didn’t really count him. Izzy had been in the room as well, but left a couple of hours ago to do, something, Jace didn’t really hear where or what she said she was doing.

It had been almost two days since that night when he had attacked Alec in the alley, when he almost killed his brother, when Clary had died. Ever since Simon told him that he killed Clary, Jace had been on autopilot. He stayed with the Daylighter on the ruined floor on the building before Izzy and Luke arrived. After being told by Simon about what happened, Jace managed to mention the Alec was also in trouble and the next thing he knew, he was sitting outside of the Institute infirmary while he Parabatai was inside.

He had never felt so numb as he did in those hours as he waited for someone to tell him how Alec was doing, if he was going to live or not. He didn’t even notice the few Shadowhunters that had passed him, whispering to themselves. Jace knew now though that word had finally gotten out about how he was the Owl, how he had been possessed by Lilith and not only did he attack mundanes, he also killed his grandmother and attacked the Head of the Institute, his own Parabatai.

Eventually, Izzy managed to break him out of his stupor when she told him that Alec was going to be okay with lots of rest. She then led him into the infirmary where he was also checked over by one of the Shadowhunter doctors as they wanted to see if he was alright after being possessed for so long by such a powerful demon. He didn’t remember much of what happened while he was being checked over, or what the doctor had said, but he was soon released and allowed to go see Alec, so he assumed that he was declared okay, physically anyways. Mentally and emotionally, Jace had no idea because he barely felt anything. He felt like a zombie.

Jace did remember hearing Izzy and the doctor talk about contacting the Silent Brothers and having him checked out by them, but he had no idea if they actually did or not. He just sat by his brother’s side in near complete silence. Izzy, the doctor, and Magnus all tried to talk to him, but he barely said a word, choosing instead to ignore them. When that only seemed to make them more worried, he told them he didn’t want to talk, he just wanted to make sure Alec was going to be okay. They left him alone a bit after that.

As time continued to pass and Alec remained unconscious as he healed from the injuries Jace himself had inflicted on him, slowly the blonde became aware of what was going on around him. He became aware of how the only people Jace saw around once Alec was moved into his bedroom was his adopted family and Magnus. Every now and then one of the doctors came in to check on the injured Shadowhunter, but that was it. He didn’t mind it at all though. He knew he wouldn’t be able to handle having everyone coming in and staring at him, whispering about him, threatening him and blaming him for everything that happened even though they would be totally justified in doing so. But they all stayed away. Maybe Izzy threatened them or something.

Jace also wondered if and when he would be arrested and taken to the city of bones for helping Lilith and keeping how Clary used the wish to bring him back to life a secret. Despite the fact he was possessed and had no choice in the matter, there would still be a trial so the Council could get all the facts about what happened and see if there was anything else about Lilith and her plans that he still knew. And with him knowing how Clary used the wish, he was guilty by not informing anyone about it and that would also have consequences. But again, no one came for him.

As Jace’s eyes drifted around the room, he spotted Alec’s bow and quiver of arrows leaning against the wall on the other side of the room and felt sick to his stomach even though he was positive his stomach was empty. He couldn’t remember eating anything at all recently. He did remember though how it felt pushing one of those arrows into his brother’s chest, how begged and begged the demon that was controlling him to stop before Magnus stopped him. Suddenly, the blonde started to wonder what it would feel like to have one of those arrows pushed into his own heart.

He had wanted to die, wanted it so badly, wanted the misery and torture to end more than he had wanted anything else in his entire life. He couldn’t do on his own though. Lilith wouldn’t let him. When Alec and Izzy showed up in his head, he begged them to do it because Lilith couldn’t stop them. But they didn’t and Lilith took him once again. And when Alec arrived in that alley, finally willing to kill him, Jace was relieved that this would finally be over. But again, Alec couldn’t do it though it wasn’t for lack of trying, it was because the demon was stronger, Jace was stronger. He never imagined that his own strength, something he usually always bragged about would be used against him in that way.

Now though, the demon was out of his head, he was in control, and yet he was still yearning for death, for relief from the pain that he was beginning to feel as the numbness that had enveloped him began to wear off. Clary was dead because of him, because he brought her to Lilith. Alec was lying injured on his bed because he stabbed him and broke his arm. Magnus was powerless now because of him. Several mundanes had been killed and possessed because of him.

The guilt he had been feeling ever since Lilith’s hold over him became complete and he remembered everything he had done as the Owl was overwhelming him. He knew that he was at fault, he was to blame for everything. If he had stayed dead when Valentine killed him, then Lilith couldn’t use him to attack and possess everyone he did. He was supposed to be dead. It would be better for everyone if he was.

Jace suddenly felt an urge to walk over to the arrows, grab one, and plunge it into his heart. Alec was still completely out cold, Magnus was fast asleep, and there was no one else around, no one could stop him. Even if Magnus woke up while he was doing it, or after, there wasn’t anything he could do, he was powerless now. Besides, he was going to be sentenced to death for keeping what Clary did a secret, why not die on his own terms?

The only thing that stopped Jace from getting up off the chair was a small groan that he barely heard. The blonde immediately turned his head to see Alec slowly open his eyes. A relieved smile broke out on Jace’s face as he leaned closer to his Parabatai. Magnus, having been holding Alec’s hand the entire time, woke up to the feeling of it moving, also woke up.

“Alexander? Are you awake?” Magnus asked, also leaning closer. Alec opened his eyes more so he could see better, and when he saw not only Magnus, but Jace, he slowly nodded and smiled.

“Yeah, I’m awake.” Alec whispered, his voice a little raspy after days without use. Magnus immediately grabbed a cup of water that had been sitting on the bedside table where he had put it for when Alec did finally wake up, then helped lift Alec a bit so he could drink.

“Thanks.” The Head of the Institute whispered once he had taken a few sips and lowered his head back on the pillow. He then looked over at Jace, and saw the blonde biting his lips while his eyes were filling with tears before the younger Shadowhunter lowered his head.

The older Shadowhunter could only imagine what Jace was going through right now, even after seeing how Lilith had been mentally torturing him. Alec could see the pain, the guilt in his Parabatai’s eyes and it was heartbreaking. The only thing Alec could think of doing was pulling the blonde into his arms and holding him tight. So, he turned his head back to look at Magnus, trying to think of a way to ask the warlock, well, former warlock now, to give him some time alone with Jace.

Magnus though, already assumed this and with a comforting smile, he said, “I’ll go inform Isabelle and Maryse that you’re awake.”

The warlock then stood up and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him as he did so. The minute he was gone, Jace looked up at Alec with a relieved expression before it quickly turned to one of massive guilt and he lowered his head once again, the tears starting to slip through his eyelids.

“Jace, look at me.” Even though Alec’s voice was weak from disuse, it was strong enough to compel Jace to raise his head just enough to meet Alec’s eyes, letting the dark-haired Shadowhunter see the tears he was struggling to keep at bay.

“This, is not your fault. This was Lilith. You didn’t hurt me, you didn’t hurt those mundanes, you didn’t kill Imogen. Lilith did. You’re not to blame.” Alec told him, his voice starting to get stronger as he used it.

Jace lowered his eyes again though as tears continued to escape his eyes. Alec slowly pushed himself up on the bed more, biting back a pained groan. He could easily see that Jace was already feeling guilty enough and didn’t want to make it worse by letting Jace hear or see how much pain he was still in from his broken arm and the stab wound in his chest.

Once he was more upright, Alec reached forward with his good arm, putting in on Jace’s shoulder to get his attention once again. This time however, the blonde lowered his head even more, far too guilty and ashamed to even look at his brother. Alec struggled to think or something to say, something to do that would make Jace feel better, but couldn’t come up with anything because he knew that there wasn’t anything he could do to take away the guilt and pain that was so clearly causing his brother such suffering.

When a small, quiet sob, finally broke through Jace’s attempts of keeping his tears at bay, Alec moved his hand from the blonde’s shoulder to place it on the back of his neck and whispered, “Come here.”

Weakly pulling Jace towards him, the blonde offered no resistance, allowing his brother to pull him into his embrace, resting his head against the dark-haired Shadowhunter gently, scared of hurting his Parabatai even more than he already had. If he was hurting his brother, Alec gave no sign of it. Instead, he just wrapped his good arm around Jace’s shaking shoulders

“I’m sorry. So sorry Alec.” Jace managed to get out through his harsh sobs.

“You have nothing to be sorry for Jace. You didn’t do anything.” Alec replied, moving his other arm carefully to place his hand on the blonde’s head, running his fingers through his short hair.

“I couldn’t stop it, couldn’t stop her.” Jace told him as he tried to stop crying, feeling completely undeserving of the comfort that his brother was giving him at the moment and knowing that the only way to get Alec to stop giving it to him was to get him to believe that he was okay. Crying, was the exact opposite of telling anyone that you were okay.

“You tried your best. I know that. Everyone who matters, knows that.” Alec said, adding the last part because he knew that there was most likely some people who did believe that Jace was completely at fault even though he was possessed and controlled like a puppet.

“I failed. Failed you, failed Clary.” Alec’s furrowed his brows as he tried to figure out what Jace meant by that. He supposed it was for when he dropped Clary from the roof and a building as he had no idea what else Jace could’ve done to Clary, but didn’t say anything as Jace continued, “Failed Imogen. Failed everyone.”

Alec knew that it would be some time before Jace finally believed him, if he ever did that is, but he was determined to at least, close the topic. To let his Parabatai know that there was no way Alec was ever going to blame Jace for what happened. So he gently pushed the blonde away so he could look right into his brother’s eyes.

“You listen to me, and listen closely.” When Alec saw that he indeed had Jace’s complete attention, he continued, “None of what happened, was your fault. None of it. And I’m going to keep telling you that until you believe it. I don’t care how long it takes.”

Any composure Jace managed to regain was completely lost again when he heard his brother’s sincere promise. Tears again began to fall freely from his eyes and he leaned forward and hugged Alec tightly, though he did his best to make sure his arms weren’t touching his brother’s injuries. Alec quickly returned the embrace, using all of his strength to hold the younger Shadowhunter as tight as possible.

“It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay.” Alec whispered comfortingly in the blonde’s ear as he held the Shadowhunter in his arms, completely ignoring the protests of his injuries. Taking care of his brother was far more important to the older Shadowhunter than his own wounds.

With the two Shadowhunters’ attention on each other, they were completely oblivious to the fact that the door had opened and three heads were peaking inside, Izzy, Maryse, and Magnus. They had arrived a few minutes ago, but seeing what was going on with Alec and Jace, they stayed back, allowing the two to have their moment.

“Should we,” Izzy started, wanting to go comfort Jace just like their brother was already doing, but wasn’t sure if she should intrude on the moment or not.

“No, let’s just leave them be.” Maryse answered, keeping her voice down so her sons wouldn’t hear, “Jace needs his Parabatai right now, and Alec needs to make sure that Jace is okay.”

Though Izzy wanted to go to her brothers, to make sure Alec was alright and to comfort Jace, but knew that her mother was right. Alec would be to worried about Jace to be honest about how he was feeling, and Jace would immediately put his walls back up if she came into the room. Jace only let himself be vulnerable around Alec, and Alec only took care of himself if the people he cared about were alright.

So silently, Izzy reached for the door handle and pulled the door closed as Maryse and Magnus started walking down the hall, talking quietly amongst themselves. Once the door was closed, Izzy turned around to join them, knowing that Jace and Alec were in safe hands simply because they were together.


End file.
